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Field Manual: If I see another ‘strive for excellence’ mural, I’m launching a coffee mug into low earth orbit. Ship the mess. The Complex can’t monetize what it can’t predict. Anyone still aiming for perfect needs a nap and a VPN. — Deborah, Field Marshal of Half-Finished Shit

Trust the Weird Signal Tee

Trust the Weird Signal Tee

$35.00 USD
$35.00 USD
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Wear This When:

  • Wear to meetings, exit interviews, or anywhere hope goes to die. Pairs best with deadpan stares, black coffee, and last shreds of sanity.

For People Who…

  • Think “Live Laugh Love” should be a criminal offense
  • Have a sarcastic comment locked and loaded at all times
  • Still show up, even if they’ve already mentally quit
  • Are emotionally allergic to group chats named “Team Vibes 💫”

Actual Shirt Stuff:

  • - 100% Cotton. 0% Motivation. - Field-tested by the disengaged, the burned-out, and the chronically sarcastic. - Not responsible for existential awakenings. Agent Review: “It’s like a hug from someone who hates hugs.” — Phil, Chief Saboteur

Vibe Checks

  • "Wore it to brunch. Got side-eyed by an influencer. Instant favorite."
  • "My boss asked if everything was okay. That's how I knew it was working."
  • "Honestly? I feel powerful. And slightly unapproachable."

Deborah Said That

Icons don’t ask for permission. They send calendar invites.

– Deborah, probably

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