Savage Tee Society // FAQ (Frequently Annoying Questions)

You’re not lost. You’re just the only one paying attention.
Yes, this is all real. No, we won’t make a motivational mug.

đŸŠ„ SIZING + UNIFORMITY (OR LACK THEREOF)

Q: What sizes do you offer?
XS–5XL. Your body, your chaos. Consult the chart, or go full mystery bag. Wear it loose, wear it tight—just wear it like you’ve stopped caring.
Q: Will it fit me?
Maybe. Try two sizes if you’re overthinking. If it’s too tight, call it a “statement.” If it’s too big, call it “streetwear.” Problem solved.
Q: Can I wear this to my job?
Only if you want HR to Google “insubordination.” Highly recommended.

đŸ”„ LAUNDRY + CARE (THIS ISN’T COMPLICATED)

Q: How do I wash this?
Cold. Inside out. Hang dry if you hate the planet. Dryers are fine, just not on nuclear settings. Wash with similarly disenchanted garments. If wrinkled, just own it.
Q: Will the print fade?
Eventually. Everything does. Ours outlasts most startups and corporate slogans.
Q: My shirt smells like rebellion. Is that normal?
Yes. If it smells like “teamwork,” contact support immediately (we’ll forward it to Phil’s inbox).

🚚 SHIPPING, RETURNS & THE VOID

Q: Do you ship internationally?
Yes, everywhere. We’ve dodged more customs forms than LinkedIn invites. If your country’s blocked, blame bureaucracy—not us.
Q: How long does it take?
US: 2–5 days. International: longer, obviously. Tracking provided. If “delivered” means “missing,” email us with “Initiate Package Hunt” as your subject. We’ll cry with you.
Q: What’s your return policy?
30 days. No drama. If you’re unhappy, send it back. Store credit for defectors, because the refund gods hate us.
Q: My package is missing. Now what?
1. Check your mail carrier.
2. Wait 48 hours.
3. Email us.
4. Perform the “Where’s My Shit” dance (not required, but highly recommended).

🌎 ETHICS, SOURCING, & THE DREADED “SUSTAINABLE”

Q: Ethically made?
Yes. If you find a sweatshop logo, let us know—we’ll send Phil to investigate.
Q: Is it sustainable?
It’ll outlast most of your group chats. That’s sustainable enough.

🧠 OTHER DUMB QUESTIONS

Q: Do you do custom orders?
Not unless you know the secret handshake, or you bribe Phil with rare memes. Worth a shot, though.
Q: Who’s Phil?
That’s classified. Just assume he’s watching you through a 1998 CRT monitor. Do not attempt to diagnose.
[REDACTED]
Q: My boss wants to know what STS stands for.
Savage Tee Society. Or “Sick of Teamwork Saturdays.” Dealer’s choice.
Q: My shirt made me question my reality. Is that a warranty issue?
No, that’s the point. Enjoy the existential upgrade.
Q: This is all a joke, right?
[ SIGNAL LOST ]
Still have questions? We don’t do “customer service.”
Email savageteehq@savageteesociety.com with the subject: “Requesting Actual Human Help”.
“This is not legal advice. It’s just what Phil scribbled on a napkin after too much cold brew. For more answers, stare into your fridge and wait for the void to answer.”