Frequently Annoying Questions
Wearable sarcasm for the burnout generation.😮💨
Designed in dark mode. Functions in sunlight (allegedly).
What sizes do you offer?
XS–5XL in most styles. Your body, your chaos. When in doubt, check the size chart then choose your comfort persona: fitted for “main-character energy,” oversized for “don’t perceive me.”
Will it fit me?
Probably. If you’re in the overthinking Olympics, order two sizes and keep the winner. Too snug = “statement.” Too big = “streetwear.” Both = “fashion.”
What blanks do you use?
Tees: Bella + Canvas 3001. Hoodies: Gildan 18500. Soft, durable, and ready to survive farmers market flexes, Netflix comas, and 68°F AC settings.
How do I wash this?
Turn it inside out, cold wash, and tumble dry low (or hang it up if you’re feeling ambitious).
Avoid bleach, harsh detergents, and pretending you’ll iron it.
Will the print fade?
Eventually—everything does. Ours outlasts most startups, group chats, and “team-building” initiatives.
My shirt smells like rebellion. Normal?
Yes. First-wear ink smell fades after a wash. If it smells like “toxic positivity,” contact support (we’ll forward it to Phil’s inbox).
Do you ship internationally?
Yes. If your country’s blocked at checkout, blame bureaucracy, not us. Shoot us an email and we’ll try a workaround that doesn’t involve a crow courier. 🪶
How long does it take?
US orders usually land in ~2–5 business days after production. International takes longer (time zones, dragons, customs). You’ll get tracking. If “delivered” means “missing,” email us with subject: Initiate Package Hunt.
What's your return policy?
30 days. Low drama. If it’s unworn/unwashed and you’re not vibing, send it back. Defects = we fix it. Most returns become store credit because late-stage capitalism loves fees. We don’t.
My package is missing. Now what?
1) Check with neighbors/house gremlins.
2) Give carriers 48 hours to catch up.
3) Email us.
4) Optional: perform the “Where’s My Sh*t” dance. Results not guaranteed, vibes immaculate.
Ethically made?
We use reputable blanks (Bella + Canvas, Gildan) and print on-demand to reduce overproduction. If you spot anything shady, tell us—Phil will investigate with a flashlight and a cold brew.
Is it sustainable?
We minimize waste by making items when you order, use durable garments, and ship in minimal packaging. Will it save the planet? Hard pass on that promise. Will it outlast your office Slack channel? Absolutely.
Can I wear this to my job?
If your HR speaks “human,” yes. If they speak “synergy,” also yes. Worst case they Google “insubordination” and you become office lore. Our tees double as Zoom blazers.
Will people get offended?
We punch up—at hustle culture, fake corporate “family,” and grind bros. If that’s your boss, uh… wear a cardigan over it during 1:1s.
Are these fandom-friendly?
Yes. Consider them wearable Easter eggs for introverts, gamers, and cozy-goblin energy. If you know, you know. (No licensing drama, just vibes.)
Do you do custom orders?
Sometimes—bulk/team orders, small tweaks, or collabs that don’t suck. Bribe Phil with rare memes and specifics. No Canva crimes.
Who's Phil?
Head of Vibes. Friend to crows. Mortal enemy of Reply-All. Do not attempt to diagnose.
My boss asked what STS stands for.
Savage Tee Society. Or “Sick of Teamwork Saturdays.” Choose chaos.
This is all a joke, right?
Reality is a subscription service. We’re freemium. 💀
Still have questions? We don’t do “customer service.” We do humans.
Email savageteehq@savageteesociety.com with subject: Requesting Actual Human Help.
“This is not legal advice. It’s what Phil scribbled after a cold-brew IV and a craft seltzer ranking.”