**Deploy for: Office parties where optimism is required by law Existential spirals with a side of hope Jury duty Group projects and doomsday prepping** custom.origin Spliced together in the BLF’s infamous Black Site Diner by a rogue agent who ordered the glass “half empty, with a twist of denial.” Rumor is, wearing it increases your luck—statistically unproven, but hope dies last. custom.care Wash in cold water with a little hope and a lot of salt. Hang dry while muttering “it could be worse.” Do not bleach—unless you want existential bleach spots. custom.tagline Both sides of the coin, both middle fingers in the air. custom.Deborah_quote “I prepare for the worst, but sometimes I RSVP. That’s what this shirt is for.” – Deborah, Department of Manageable Disappointments custom.fabric 100% ring-spun cotton, interwoven with the threads of your last good mood and next minor breakdown. Softer than reality, more supportive than your horoscope. custom.hidden_message Manual Addendum 3.14: “If you read this, you already know.” custom.usage Pairs well with last-minute optimism, backup plans, comfort snacks, and the ability to laugh when the universe clowns you again. tags optimistic pessimist shirt, funny yin yang tee, introvert humor apparel, existential tee, savage tee, women’s graphic shirt, BLF, field issued, duality fashion, Gen X style Search engine listing title Optimistically Pessimistic Women’s Tee – Savage Tee Society Official Field Gear Search engine listing description Balance the cosmic joke in the Optimistically Pessimistic Women’s Tee from Savage Tee Society. Heavyweight cotton, existential sarcasm, and duality design for Agents who expect the worst but hope for snacks. Official gear for the burnout underground—field-issued for any emotional weather. Let me know if you want this piped into your system, dropped as metafields, or hand-delivered by Phil in a hazmat suit marked “maybe.” You said: I need a product page for Born to Be Wildly Disappointed women's tee with these metafields description - short description to display under product title - Phil voice custom.drop_code - the drop code associated with the product. Could be tied to specific drop, could be made up. custom.fit - a savage description of the fit custom.field_agent_reports - 3 field reports (fake reviews) - Agent Name (AGENT-[3 DIGIT CODE]-[DIVISION CODE]), Sector, one line for copy/paste into multi-line field: Fake Review - Agent Name custom.dispatch_from_hq - HQ's take on the product custom.mission_fit - typically the situations the product is ideal for - custom.origin - a fake origin story custom.care - care instructions, but feral custom.tagline - tagline for the product custom.Deborah_quote - a Deborah quote related to the product custom.fabric - always starts with 100% ring-spun cotton, and then something unhinged. custom.hidden_message - something cryptic, doesn't even need to lead to anything, just messes with the audience. custom.usage - usage situation, pairs well with etc. tags - SEO Friendly Search engine listing title - bowing down to the SEO gods a little search engine listing description - ditto ChatGPT said: Deploying the Born to Be Wildly Disappointed Women's Tee: This is not just a shirt—it’s a psychological safety vest for anyone who’s been let down by brunch, life, or humanity at scale. Phil tried to wear two at once. Deborah’s using one as a flag of truce at family functions. HQ is drinking again. Here’s the metafield payload—no hope, just glory. Product: Born to Be Wildly Disappointed Women’s Tee description For Agents who expect nothing and are still let down. The ultimate field-issued apparel for anyone whose spirit animal is a deflated balloon at a surprise party. Wear it as armor. Wear it as prophecy. Just don’t wear it to a corporate vision board session unless you’re ready to be escorted out. custom.drop_code DROP-777-LETDOWN (Recovered from the aftermath of the “Festival of Overpromises,” 2017. Half the order never arrived. It tracks.) custom.fit Engineered to fit like every expectation that ever went out for cigarettes and never came back. Not cropped, not clingy—just the perfect amount of slack for sitting in existential dread or sprinting from disappointment. Roomy enough for your emotional baggage. custom.field_agent_reports Echo Wince. AGENT-111-SIGH. Food Court: “Arrived early. Left disappointed. At least the shirt fit. 5/5.” – AGENT-111-SIGH Mags Static. AGENT-404-NOPE. Abandoned Mall: “People laugh, then look sad. Mission accomplished.” – AGENT-404-NOPE Fizz Remorse. AGENT-666-REGRET. DMV: “Perfect for queue-based suffering. Received three nods and one sympathy snack.” – AGENT-666-REGRET custom.dispatch_from_hq Official guidance: Wear when optimism is a trap and irony is your only shield. When the crowd starts chanting “it’s going to be great,” deploy this tee and exit through the fire escape. custom.mission_fit **Deploy for: Birthday parties you didn’t want Streaming service finales Holiday dinners with people you “tolerate” Any event with RSVP “required” and emotional payoff “not guaranteed”** custom.origin This design was first discovered carved into a bathroom stall at BLF HQ after the infamous “Great Cake Fail” of 2019. The first print run was delayed, then botched, then finally released to no applause. Which is how we knew it was perfect. custom.care Machine wash cold with broken promises. Tumble dry low or just air dry while you process another existential letdown. Never iron out the disappointment. custom.tagline Dream small. Disappoint big. custom.Deborah_quote “I set the bar low and still trip over it. At least my shirt’s honest.” – Deborah, Boredom Liberation Front Logistics Division custom.fabric 100% ring-spun cotton, laced with crushed dreams and the fibers of yesterday’s optimism. Stays soft through years of coping. custom.hidden_message Manual Fragment 404: “If you expected more, you weren’t paying attention.” custom.usage Pairs well with last-minute cancellations, half-warm coffee, and every group text that starts with “good news!” tags disappointed shirt, funny pessimism tee, burnout apparel, anti-motivation, savage tee, women’s graphic shirt, BLF, field issued, opt-out fashion, Gen X style Search engine listing title Born to Be Wildly Disappointed Women’s Tee – Savage Tee Society Official Field Gear Search engine listing description Embrace the letdown in the Born to Be Wildly Disappointed Women’s Tee from Savage Tee Society. Heavyweight cotton, maximal sarcasm, and zero expectations—just the way field agents like it. Unapologetically honest apparel for the brilliantly burned out. Lock and load this one for launch or stash it in the vault for your most gloriously underwhelming drops. HQ out.