Field-tested for: Open office layouts Family gatherings, holidays, and cult retreats “Quick sync” meetings Any room where someone says “let’s circle back”

  • Dark gray hoodie with a graphic and text on a white background
  • Black hoodie with white graphic and text on a white background
  • Green hoodie with a graphic and text on a white background
  • Gray hoodie with a graphic and text on a white background
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Keep Your Toxic Energy Away; I'm Already Full Hoodie

Keep Your Toxic Energy Away; I'm Already Full Hoodie

Now accepting zero additional energy.

$65.00 USD
$65.00 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Rumored to be reverse-engineered from the emotional shield of a legendary urban possum who survived three exorcisms, two HOA meetings, and one silent meditation retreat.

Color
Size

Wear This When:

  • Perfect for dodging office drama, skipping family functions, or surviving Monday stand-ups. Wear it anywhere you expect to encounter unsolicited opinions or passive-aggressive comments. Bonus points if you pair it with your best “please don’t” face in the break room.

For People Who…

  • Pairs well with: Noise-cancelling headphones Avoiding eye contact in public “Do Not Disturb” mode Emergency snacks (and backup snacks)

Actual Shirt Stuff:

  • -Gildan 18500: Fleece so soft, even your emotional support opossum would approve. -Front pouch pocket: Store snacks, grudges, or your growing list of people to avoid. -Sassy possum graphic: For anyone who’s mastered the art of playing dead at work.

Vibe Checks

  • Wore it to a staff meeting. Four energy vampires vaporized on sight. - AGENT-888-FML Tested at Thanksgiving. Aunt Carol changed seats. Mission accomplished. - AGENT-404-GST Passive aggression levels: neutralized. Hoodie now considered PPE. - AGENT-777-SHD

Deborah Said That

Some of us aren’t ‘low-vibe.’ We’re just over our social limit for the decade.

– Deborah, probably

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