**Ideal for: Wandering off at corporate retreats All-night recon at 24hr diners Lurking in the back at “mandatory fun” Infiltrating small talk, then ghosting it**
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FIELD UNIT // 0401 – ACTIVE Tee
FIELD UNIT // 0401 – ACTIVE Tee
Report for boredom duty. Assume nothing.
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$35.00 USD
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Reverse-engineered from recovered field gear left behind after the Great Slack Exodus of 2022. Rumored to be printed using a font banned by three major tech companies. Each one activated, never restocked.
Wear This When:
- Deploy at work, in class, or anywhere morale is dropping faster than your WiFi signal. Ideal for Zoom calls, team-building disasters, or any gathering where “fun” is mandatory. Worn by operatives who’ve stopped pretending to care about forced happiness.
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For People Who…
- Pairs well with black coffee, burner notebooks, and a deep, unshakable suspicion of all team-building exercises. Wear for plausible deniability and unsanctioned field naps.
Actual Shirt Stuff:
- -Bella + Canvas 3001: So soft, you’ll start liberating naps instead of meetings. -Stealthy, minimalist type—perfect for passing as a functional adult while committing acts of low-key rebellion. -Text is cryptic enough for HR to ignore, but every burnout in the room knows you’re not here to “engage.”
Vibe Checks
- Kess Relay. AGENT-040-DELTA. Quiet Zone: “Nobody asked if I work here. For once, bliss.” – AGENT-040-DELTA Pax Static. AGENT-101-LAUNCH. Night Ops: “Someone flashed me a coded nod in the produce aisle. Operation: Success.” – AGENT-101-LAUNCH Nova Drift. AGENT-256-SHADOW. Abandoned Cubicle: “Shirt kept me invisible in plain sight. Ten out of ten, would disappear again.” – AGENT-256-SHADOW
Deborah Said That
If you’re reading this, you’re already under surveillance. Wear the shirt and vanish on cue.
– Deborah, probably
