**Deploy for: Birthday parties you didn’t want Streaming service finales Holiday dinners with people you “tolerate” Any event with RSVP “required” and emotional payoff “not guaranteed”**

  • Gray t-shirt with a smiley face and text design on a white background
  • Black t-shirt with a smiley face and text design on a white background
  • Navy blue t-shirt with a smiley face and text on a white background
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Born to Be Wildly Disappointed Women's T-Shirt

Born to Be Wildly Disappointed Women's T-Shirt

Dream small. Disappoint big.

$30.00 USD
$30.00 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

This design was first discovered carved into a bathroom stall at BLF HQ after the infamous “Great Cake Fail” of 2019. The first print run was delayed, then botched, then finally released to no applause. Which is how we knew it was perfect.

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Size

Wear This When:

  • Wear it to meetings, “mandatory fun” events, or anytime someone tells you to “manifest abundance.” Great for casual Fridays, family dinners, or anytime you want your shirt to speak before you do.

For People Who…

  • Pairs well with last-minute cancellations, half-warm coffee, and every group text that starts with “good news!”

Actual Shirt Stuff:

  • Gildan 64000L: Because you deserve a soft landing for your chronic letdowns. Faded retro print hides existential dread (and pizza stains). Smiley face: so HR won’t know you’re screaming inside.

Vibe Checks

  • Echo Wince. AGENT-111-SIGH. Food Court: “Arrived early. Left disappointed. At least the shirt fit. 5/5.” – AGENT-111-SIGH Mags Static. AGENT-404-NOPE. Abandoned Mall: “People laugh, then look sad. Mission accomplished.” – AGENT-404-NOPE Fizz Remorse. AGENT-666-REGRET. DMV: “Perfect for queue-based suffering. Received three nods and one sympathy snack.” – AGENT-666-REGRET

Deborah Said That

I set the bar low and still trip over it. At least my shirt’s honest.

– Deborah, probably

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