Why You Need This
- Comes pre-shrunk (unlike your dreams).
- Perfect for ghosting brunch plans.
- Designed in dark mode. Tested on Zoom calls.
- ❌ Won’t fix your life. ✅ Will fix your outfit.
Fake Reviews
★★★★★
“Manifested petty, delivered comfy.”
— Petty & Thriving
★★★★★
“Finally, a hoodie that matches my burnout.”
— Definitely Not HR
★★★★★
“Soft enough to nap in during meetings.”
— Professional Over It
Specs (But Make It Petty)
☕ Cold Brew Compatible🧵 Bella + Canvas 3001🛡️ Slack-Ping Resistant🇺🇸 Printed in USA
Care Instructions, but honest
Official
Wash cold, inside-out. Tumble low or air dry. Do not iron the attitude.
Unofficial
Wear 3 days in a row. Febreze counts. Fold? Hard pass.
