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  • Navy blue hoodie with white graphic and text on a white background
  • Person wearing a black hoodie with a white graphic design and text.
  • Black hoodie with white graphic and text on a white background
  • Green hoodie with a white graphic design on a white background
  • Gray hoodie with a white graphic and text on a white background
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Optimistically Pessimistic Hoodie

Optimistically Pessimistic Hoodie

Hopeful, but hoodie about it.

$49.95 USD
$60.00 USD $49.95 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Scrawled on a therapy worksheet after someone admitted, “Yeah, maybe it’ll be fine… but probably not.”

Size
Color

Why You Need This

  • Makes you look alive on Zoom.
  • Spoiler: you’re not.
  • Pairs with “camera off.”
  • Doubles as social armor.

Fake Reviews

“Made me feel something. Might’ve been the cotton.”
— Dead Inside But Cozy
“HR said it was ‘unprofessional.’ I bought two more.”
— Petty & Employed
“Soft enough to replace my emotional support blanket.”
— Napfluencer

Specs (But Make It Petty)

🍟 Fry-Grease Camouflage🎧 Noise-Cancel Companion🚪 Introvert Exit Gear🧃 Juice-Box Safe

Care Instructions, but honest

Official

  • Do laundry occasionally.
  • Not on laundry day—on laundry month.
  • That’s official.

Unofficial

  • Survived the floor?
  • It’ll survive your body.
  • That’s science.
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