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  • Dark gray hoodie with a graphic and text on a white background
  • Person wearing a black hoodie with a humorous design and text.
  • Black hoodie with white graphic and text on a white background
  • Green hoodie with a graphic and text on a white background
  • Gray hoodie with a graphic and text on a white background
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Keep Your Toxic Energy Away; I'm Already Full Hoodie

Keep Your Toxic Energy Away; I'm Already Full Hoodie

Sorry, my trauma closet is at capacity.

$49.95 USD
$65.00 USD $49.95 USD
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First snapped at a family reunion in 2013. Immortalized after years of dodging toxic coworkers, fake friends, and that one aunt on Facebook.

Color
Size

Why You Need This

  • Comfort > career ladder.
  • Perfect for telling capitalism “no thanks.”
  • Built for rage-quitting in style.
  • Pairs well with passive-aggressive emails.

Fake Reviews

“Finally, merch that understands my hatred for small talk.”
— Introvert Supreme
“Comfort level: slept in it, wore it to brunch, nobody noticed.”
— Sunday Goblin
“Made me feel something. Might’ve been the cotton.”
— Dead Inside But Cozy

Specs (But Make It Petty)

🥤 Energy-Drink Resistant📺 Binge-Watch Friendly🛋️ Couch-Potato Tested🐱 Cat-Hair Collector

Care Instructions, but honest

Official

  • Machine wash cold.
  • Tumble low.
  • Iron if you hate yourself.

Unofficial

  • If you can’t smell it, it’s fine.
  • If you can smell it, light a candle.
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