Field-tested for: Monday mornings Cancelled plans (yours or theirs) Realizing your “vision board” is now just a “meme wall” Hiding from the universe (and also your neighbor Doug)
  • White hoodie with colorful text and smiley face design on a white background
  • Black hoodie with a smiley face and text design on a white background
  • Beige hoodie with a smiley face and text on a white background
  • Green hoodie with a smiley face and text on a white background
  • Gray hoodie with a smiley face and text design on a white background
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Born To Be Wildly Disappointed Hoodie

Born To Be Wildly Disappointed Hoodie

You can’t fail if you never had hope.

$65.00 USD
$65.00 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Discovered in the lost and found box at a defunct Blockbuster next to a shattered pog collection and several broken promises. Early prototypes caused mild existential crises in lab rats.

Color
Size

Why You Need This

  • Comes pre-shrunk (unlike your dreams).
  • Perfect for ghosting brunch plans.
  • Designed in dark mode. Tested on Zoom calls.
  • ❌ Won’t fix your life. ✅ Will fix your outfit.

Fake Reviews

“Soft enough to nap in during meetings.”
— Professional Over It
“Bought one. Boss asked where to get it. I lied.”
— Ghost Mode
“Pairs perfectly with cold brew and bad decisions.”
— Snack-Motivated

Specs (But Make It Petty)

☕ Cold Brew Compatible🧵 Bella + Canvas 3001🛡️ Slack-Ping Resistant🇺🇸 Printed in USA

Care Instructions, but honest

Official

Wash cold, inside-out. Tumble low or air dry. Do not iron the attitude.

Unofficial

Wear 3 days in a row. Febreze counts. Fold? Hard pass.
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