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Wearable nihilism
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I Orbit My Own Chaos T-Shirt
Centered? No. Spiraling gracefully.
Sale price
$28.95 USD
Regular price
$35.99 USD
Free shipping, applied automatically at checkout
Product Details
Fit: Unisex, retail fit (aka not a boxy dad tee, not a body-con sausage casing — it’s the Goldilocks zone).
Fabric: 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for that soft, “I might nap in this” feel. (Heather colors include polyester for extra stretch.)
Weight: 4.2 oz/yd² — lightweight but not see-through, perfect for layering or pretending you dressed with effort.
Construction: Side-seamed with shoulder taping for durability (survives laundry day and life).
Care & Maintenance
- Machine wash cold, because heat is for existential dread and pizza ovens.
- Tumble dry low (like your standards).
- Do not iron directly on the print unless you love melted nihilism.
- Basically: treat it like a houseplant — minimal attention, no fire, it’ll survive.
Size & Fit
- Unisex fit = works for most humans with a torso.
- True to size, but if you like it baggy (aka “don’t talk to me” chic), go one up.
- Bella + Canvas tees = soft AF, like a baby bunny that hates capitalism.
- Hoodies = classic Gildan — roomy enough for snacks and your crushing apathy.
Shipping & Returns
- Orders ship fast enough that you won’t age noticeably.
- Tracking info will land in your inbox so you can obsess over it.
- Shipping cost = FREE, because something should be, right?
- Returns? Yep. If it arrives wrong, broken, or you suddenly hate it, email us and we’ll fix it.
- Final sale stuff will be clearly marked, so no surprises.