For: Holiday gatherings where silence is violence Exit interviews Awkward elevator rides Any event with an open mic or unsolicited advice
  • Black t-shirt with humorous text design on a white background
  • Gray t-shirt with humorous text design on a white background
  • Black t-shirt with humorous text design on a white background
  • Black t-shirt with humorous text design on a white background
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I’m Sorry I Offended You… Wait, No, I’m Not Tee

I’m Sorry I Offended You… Wait, No, I’m Not Tee

Offense taken. Permission not required.

$35.00 USD
$35.00 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

First recovered from a scorched earth “team building” seminar. Stitched by an agent who only speaks in hot takes and once got banned from Slack for “tone.”

Color
Size

Why You Need This

  • Comes pre-shrunk (unlike your dreams).
  • Perfect for ghosting brunch plans.
  • Designed in dark mode. Tested on Zoom calls.
  • ❌ Won’t fix your life. ✅ Will fix your outfit.

Fake Reviews

“Manifested petty, delivered comfy.”
— Petty & Thriving
“Finally, a hoodie that matches my burnout.”
— Definitely Not HR
“Soft enough to nap in during meetings.”
— Professional Over It

Specs (But Make It Petty)

☕ Cold Brew Compatible🧵 Bella + Canvas 3001🛡️ Slack-Ping Resistant🇺🇸 Printed in USA

Care Instructions, but honest

Official

Wash cold, inside-out. Tumble low or air dry. Do not iron the attitude.

Unofficial

Wear 3 days in a row. Febreze counts. Fold? Hard pass.
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