Deploy when: The forecast is “meh” with a chance of disaster You’re attending any event that requires both hope and insurance Brunch with the family, work happy hours, or “vision board” retreats Monday mornings, Friday evenings, and all moments between

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Optimistically Pessimistic Tee

Optimistically Pessimistic Tee

Balanced on the knife edge of hope and nope.

$35.00 USD
$35.00 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Unearthed from the ruins of a failed optimism cult, this design was first scrawled on a napkin at a dive bar during the Great Hope Shortage of 2008. Legend says the napkin is still there. Nobody’s checked.

Color
Size

Wear This When:

  • Wear this tee anywhere there’s “team-building” or “motivational” anything. Perfect for work Zoom calls, awkward social gatherings, or your therapist’s office. Sends the message: “I see the glass as both half empty and half pointless.”

For People Who…

  • Pairs well with: black jeans, bitter coffee, canceled plans, and that suspicious feeling that something might actually go right (but probably won’t).

Actual Shirt Stuff:

  • -Bella + Canvas 3001: So soft, you’ll almost forget you’re wearing the duality of disappointment. -Distressed yin-yang face with dead eyes & half-empty glasses: For those who expect the worst and are never surprised. -Unisex fit: No matter how you identify—optimist, pessimist, or “meh”—it fits your vibe.

Vibe Checks

  • “Wore it to therapy. My therapist just nodded and scribbled something. I assume it was respect.” - Agent AGENT-009-ODD | Sector: Overthinking Alley “Mom asked if I was okay. Dad asked if I had another one in XXL. Both correct.”- gent AGENT-666-DMZ | Sector: Family Brunch Neutral Zone “Coworker read my shirt and just sighed, ‘Same.’ Instant bond. No further words exchanged.” - Agent AGENT-123-GRN | Sector: Post-Meeting Parking Lot

Deborah Said That

If you expect nothing, you’re never disappointed. If you expect everything, you’re just annoying.

– Deborah, probably

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