Ideal For: Office parties where the only spirit is existential dread Family gatherings featuring carolers with dead eyes Any situation requiring “festive” compliance with plausible deniability Casual ops in commercial holiday hellscapes
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FALALALA NOPE Funny Christmas Shirt
FALALALA NOPE Funny Christmas Shirt
Holiday spirit: denied.
Regular price
$35.00 USD
Regular price
Sale price
$35.00 USD
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per
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Recovered from the archives of the 1998 “War on Carolers.” First smuggled out of a Wisconsin mall during a Bing Crosby cover marathon, this shirt has survived three cease-and-desist letters and one awkward eggnog spill. The reindeer? Witness protection.
Wear This When:
- Wear this tee to office parties, family functions, or anywhere you want to broadcast your Christmas spirit (aka: total lack thereof). Pair with an eye roll and an empty eggnog glass. Perfect for sidestepping Secret Santa and avoiding forced fun.
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For People Who…
- Pairs well with: jeans, unreturned texts, and your last shred of seasonal tolerance.
Actual Shirt Stuff:
- -Bella + Canvas 3001: Festive-level soft, Grinch-level snark. -Bold holiday graphics: Because subtlety is for people who actually enjoy caroling. -Unisex fit: Will not magically improve your mood at holiday parties.
Vibe Checks
- “Wore this to an office holiday party. HR avoided eye contact. My soul grew three sizes.” - Agent: “Gemini Jack” | Sector: Midwestern Front “Christmas playlist hit ‘Feliz Navidad’—I just pointed at my chest. Immediate respect. Also, nobody asked me about NFTs.” - Agent: “Circuit Ghost” | Sector: Suburban Dead Zone “Santa saw the shirt, muttered ‘same,’ and left me a bottle of whiskey. Five stars.” - Agent: “Oolong Jane” | Sector: North Pole, Probably
Deborah Said That
If I hear ‘Jingle Bells’ one more time, I’m launching psychological countermeasures. This shirt is phase one.
– Deborah, probably
