Best for: Surviving birthday parties thrown in your honor Watching the world burn with a polite smile Situations that start as “hopeful” and end as “just drink the coffee and leave” Daily existential errands
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Born to Be Wildly Disappointed
Born to Be Wildly Disappointed
Smiling through the chaos. Lower your standards.
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$35.00 USD
Regular price
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$35.00 USD
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Ripped from the ruins of a long-lost 90s self-esteem seminar, this artifact was first discovered in the glove box of a Saturn Ion with two flat tires and a suspicious mixtape. The smiley? A coded warning from those who saw the truth.
Wear This When:
- Wear this tee at work, family gatherings, or any event where expectations are high and reality is a dumpster fire. Perfect for Monday meetings, class reunions, or scrolling LinkedIn just to feel something. It says, “Don’t bother raising the bar—I’m here for the punchline.”
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For People Who…
- Pairs well with: flared jeans, three-day-old coffee, and your last unclaimed vacation day.
Actual Shirt Stuff:
- -Bella + Canvas 3001: Premium cotton, softer than your broken dreams. -Vintage smiley print: Fades just like your childhood optimism. -Unisex fit: For anyone still waiting for life to deliver.
Vibe Checks
- “Wore this to a family reunion. Grandma tried to hug me, but her expectations were lower than ever. Five stars.” - Agent: “Mothman Mike” | Sector: Anhedonia Plains “Showed up to HR’s ‘mandatory fun’ event. No one asked me to smile. Effective camouflage for broken dreams.” - Agent: “Linda from Legal” | Sector: Sub-Basement Archives “Smiley face drew them in. The text kept them away. I have never been more at peace.” - Agent: “Sasquatch Beth” | Sector: Pacific Northwest Shadows
Deborah Said That
Let the world expect more. You just wear the shirt.
– Deborah, probably
